This article first appeared on Durham Cool on November 21, 2014.  We bring it forward to you during this Holiday period 2017 as the subject is timeless and of particular importance during the Holidays.

Funny Funny Universe! I just finished a Despacho Ceremony on balancing the masculine and feminine energies within us. The funny thing is that today is my anniversary…was my anniversary…not sure if it can still be called an anniversary anymore. I mean it is still the date I married. It is the date I began my greatest creation to date. The PERFECT FAMILY! I even think it’s funny that I didn’t say the PERFECT MATE. Well, if I’m honest, I know the truth is that I was always creating family. A family less dysfunctional than my family of origin. A family where I could be my true self and still be loved. A family I could mold to do the things I thought were important (like saying I love you and showing up for all the events, ceremonies, and emergencies). A family I could control so that I didn’t ever have to be disappointed. A family I didn’t have to teach not to hurt me. Well, funny funny universe. In spite of my best laid plans and projects, it didn’t work out that way. There were fights, secrets, dislikes, hurts, and plenty of criticism. All the buttons of my childhood were pushed. All the safety I thought I could create didn’t protect me from LIFE. As I look back I can see immature masculine energy in overdrive. Feminine or anything associated with feminine felt weak and vulnerable to me, so it was not allowed to come out of hiding. I can now see the need for it. Instead of domination…allowing. Instead of thinking my way in or out of things…following my intuition. Instead of judging…seeing everything through the eyes of compassion, understanding that I could never possibly know the end or the importance of any singular event or person. So on this “anniversary” I see the funny in that I found myself opening myself to see my family (of origin and the created one) with “new” eyes. I can now see my ex-husband as one of my greatest teachers. I can see how he could never truly love me. Not because he was incapable, but because I could not ACCEPT his love because I had turned off a huge part of myself. I now see that being receptive, heart-centered, and vulnerable can serve me and provide balance to my life. I now know that it was good, is good, and will be good. I now know that I AM ALL GOOD (masculine and feminine within)!

Carla Forte works at InSight Counseling and Coaching

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